Archive for the ‘Blog’ Category
Layoff “Etiquette”
How to Recession-Proof Your Friendships
(or)
What to Say to Fellow Female Attorneys During Trying Economic Times
While shopping at the mall on Black Friday after Thanksgiving, I noticed a well-known clothing store had 50%-off sale signs plastered all over the walls. I asked a sales associate what items the sale included. She replied, “Everything in the store!” In surprise, I repeated her words, and she acknowledged that was correct. Then she said, “Corporate headquarters notified all the stores they would be closing the doors at the end of the year due to bankruptcy. We’ll all have to find another job by January 1.” With tears in her eyes, she stood there and starting telling me that she didn’t know what she was going to do or where she was going to find her next job.
I really felt for this person and spoke with her a little while longer, encouraging her to move forward and that I felt she truly had a lot to offer her next employer. I also provided her with some advice on how to approach the job market as a female.
During these difficult economic times, it’s sadly no surprise that, if we haven’t already gotten a pink slip, many of us will be faced with sudden layoffs during this recession. This affects all of us – on an individual, national, and global level. But because so many of us are all going through the same thing, it shouldn’t mean we have to suffer in silence.In my work as a career coach, I have encountered this problem much more often than I ever would have imagined, and I’ve gained a great deal of insight regarding how to best approach and speak to someone, particularly a female, who has experienced a job loss:
1. Empathize with the person and acknowledge their situation. Stop what you’re doing if you sense it’s what they need. Like the sales associate I spoke with, many people just want to be heard because they feel afraid. Listen and offer genuine concern.
2. Never tell them you “know how they feel” unless you have had the same experience. If you have gone through a job loss, the person will feel a connection with you, and you will be able to offer more guidance and empathy. Share with them how you overcame the obstacle and reinforced your positive thinking.
3. Ask if there is some way you may be of assistance to them or their family. This doesn’t have to be financial. If the person is family or a friend, it may be as simple as baby-sitting for them while they concentrate on their job search, or any number of things that would help them out in their particular life situation.
4. Offer to be a sounding board when they need to talk. Sincerely make yourself available to listen, as they may want to vent and verbalize their concerns. Create some time in your schedule to meet for coffee, lunch, or even talk on the phone. Remember, there are no “Layoff Anonymous” groups out there; this is a universal problem that requires a very personal, individual answer. Be the “go-to buddy” when they feel overwhelmed.
5. Let them know you will diligently keep an eye open for any available positions of interest that you may hear about, and follow through. You may see something on television, in the newspaper classifieds, during Internet searches, or simple social networking that may a potential job lead.
6. Share positive stories or words of encouragement that may ease their concerns. Again, it’s a sad commentary on our society, but just about everyone knows someone who has been affected by loss of employment. Take this opportunity to share your insights and put a positive spin on their situation to give them hope.
7. Never promise anything you cannot deliver. You may want to assist someone desperately, but it will be a loss to both you and your friend if you come into this unprepared. Only promise those things that you have control over. False hope is the last thing laid-off or otherwise jobless female professionals need. Be clear with yourself about what and how much you are truly willing – and able – to give.
This is a time in history that will either go one way or another: it will either bring us closer together or drive us farther apart. However it ends up depends on all of us – and if we really make an effort to stand up and work through this together, we will emerge stronger and more united than ever. So keep a close eye on your friends and family.
Understanding and Overcoming Obstacles in Your Life
What is your obstacle or limitation? It may be money/debt, education, limited/few opportunities, physical/mental challenges, haunting of your past, etc.
Remember, you will never be able to control other people. No matter what you say or do people will always act how they want. So, it is important for you to react appropriately to the situation. The truth is you can’t always control what happens to you. For example, you can be the safest driver, but another driver may not and a collision occurs.
Are you still holding onto negative thoughts and feelings inside? You have two choices to be positive or be negative. Realize you can do nothing about your past. That is a fact. Stop beating yourself up and make up in your mind to start anew. Do not allow your past to control your future.
Realize everyone has limitations of some type. It may be lack of finances, lack of education or physical/mental challenges. Never let anyone place limits on your life. There are many ways to overcome limitations and become successful. It is important to know what you are cable of and work towards attainable goals.
The hurt you have experienced whether physical or mental can be dealt with directly. You have to be solely responsible to overcome the issue and move beyond it. Make up in your mind that in order to move forward, be content with your life and be the success that you are, you have to fight and conquer the obstacle. Take care of “you” before you try to assist someone else.
You are in control of your actions. So, choose to take the positive approach to any obstacle. Again, it is how you respond that counts.
Ponder on the following:
1. Keep a journal. Set-up goals and develop milestones to move beyond your obstacles.
2. Do not retaliate or blame others. It is counter productive to success and emotional healing.
3. Do not harbor resentment or anger. You are only punishing yourself.
4. Do not let anyone have control over your life. They have no right to do so.
5. Accept that there is an obstacle that needs addressed.
6. When you require assistance, follow through the proper procedures and/or seek advice from an expert whether it is legal, financial, mental or physical.